Single life........ The REAL reason.

So me and one of my friends were talking; and I was telling her my thoughts on why the select few of us are single. Now my reason is because, I said we all inspire deep real feelings in folks; now most people if not a good chunk of them are so afraid of it that they go running for the hills. I think that it ends up making them feel like they don't deserve to be happy? I also think its because we all know EXACTLY what we want out of a relationship; weather it be a gay straight or whatever relationship, I think that the other person seems to think that they shouldn't or not able to feel what ever it is that we put out, so they seek folks who are very very VERY dependent on them, who want to be the victim in it so it makes them feel safe.

With THAT being said, now why do folks feel the need to either complain about the relationships they have; or what they cant have. I never understand it. I know a girl who complains about i guess whoever she is/was talking to who decided to go off and do something else and say it was her fault that they were spending time with each other... idk, all i know is that she ended up ranting about it. So my thought on it is, if you mess with these girlies who AREN'T ready for what YOU are trying to offer then why complain about it? If you are so sick about them not understanding YOU and you are trying to change who you are to grow as a person and not just to become someone you're not then why keep messing with the same girls? The whole point of growing as a person is so that you can figure out what YOU really want out of someone who you want to share your life with. If you keep finding the same type of people over and over again are you just fooling your self about trying to change or are you just going with what's safe?

I say try out side of the box, yes getting to know people is always good, but damn it try different things, and don't get in to the habit of trying to know a million folks at once. I think that's another issue folks have, with not being able to take their time in getting to know someone who has great qualities. People get so hung up on trying to find the next big freak that they never get to know the real person deep down. Now with my friends as well as my self, we are people who are always in control so we know how to get to know a person deep down, and get to know the real REAL them, and that in it self scares folks because they are so use to just hearing about what someones favorite position is that they forget how to answer what's your favorite place to go to relax. Trust me if you were to ask a person now a days where they like to go to relax, it would be something stupid like roll a blunt and chill in the club. Sadly people don't know what relax is.. My friends as well as my self know that RELAX means to go someplace like a vacation or a park, or something like that; not go to some damn club where we get all hot and sweaty and what not to RELAX.

So the real question is that are my friends as well as my self doomed to be single forever? NOOOO We are the best singles, who know what we want; who know that when silly folks who REALLY know what the hell that they want will come out of the woodwork!

So until that happens sooner or later; have fun! Safely... ;)

That is all...........For now :)

LIfe as is?

*Side note, yay first blog of 2010**


I have a friend, who is a mother (which I just kinda found out lol) and who no doubt is a great mother. She was going to adopt a child so that her current child who just had a birthday could have a younger sister. I got a few updates about this happening just recently, she found out however that woman that she was adopting from had the baby earlier; and never told her even though Im under the impression that they had an agreement to do so. Understandably, she is upset because the girl didn't tell her that she had the baby, another day goes by; she tells me that she found out that the girl had the baby for a week on facebook ( how messed up is that?) and she claims that she spoke to her after the fact; yet another day passes; so today I hear that she has worked out all the issues and is able to pick up her new daughter from the hospital from the other family. Im happy for her.. I hear however a few hours later that the family of the mother who is giving up the baby stepped in and is blocking the adoption because my friend is gay....

Now Im truly confused because im under the impression when you adopt they would already kinda know your business. I mean she already has a child, which im under the impression that she adopted; and as far as i know is a damn good mother so what is the problem?? I really don't get it, i mean if you are going to adopt then, they interview you to see if you are a fit parent and your living conditions are ok and everything. If being gay is the ONLY thing that is stopping some one from being a parent then that's a fucking shame, one has NOTHING to do with the other. Being gay isn't an excuse for someone to not be a parent, I just don't understand why STUPID folks would use that as an excuse. I don't get it, because if you've adopted before, and the folks you've dealt with have said that you are a fit person to be a parent then what the hell is the problem! I swear my heart broke for her even though it was a text message, I could tell she was so upset, I cant believe that people would put other people through sooo much to adopt a child who just wants parents who love them.

I have no idea what the situation is now, but i hope that they all figure that out since this poor child is in the middle.

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I was watching tv before like earlier in the day and I've kept wondering WHY THE HELL IS EVERY ONE GETTING A REALITY SHOW? I mean there are desperate people that are on vh1 (thank you flavor flav...bastard!) that whore them selves out, all the time; so that their 14:59 doesn't run out! But then we have to deal with all the krap on mtv, and then these teens in the middle of nowhere; with a camera crew,talking about how their life in the mid-west is soooooooooooooooooo hard. I cant, and how much highschool life is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hard as well, Its just one interchangeable teen after another. The "other reality shows" are so horrid-ly done that we all know that its no where near real.. I refuse to watch the city, but know someone who does, and we talk about how "hard life is on the upper east/west side" how one of the girls gets a job in a fashion house "just because shes that good"---**side eye** We all know that she is there just because the camera crew is there, and the real folks are busy in the back working wayyy too hard.

2009 was the year of camera's being up your ass! I know a guy at my job who wants to be famous, but at what cost? He's trying to change his name, even though its still the same just shorter, (i still don't get it LOL) but he doesn't work. I mean how does that work?? Work folks lol

I wanna write more, but I finally got a meee day tomorrow so that's all...........for now :)

Tv time...With a random chaser please!

Ohh kiddies, soo much tv has been watched by me on the rare times that i get to stay home and relax lol. So did you see the vma's.... Hmmfp! Is what i have to say, I mean did they just tell security to have the night off and go smoke a fattie or something? I mean stage hoppers galore lol Its sad though because Mr. Gay fish (southpark) decided to hop the stage and act like a ignant negro, and all of that drama over shadowed Janet Jackson's performance, which was off the hook by the way! They did a whole michael jackson montage which was really on point. But instead of everyone talking about that, they are all talking about how this fool decides to jump the stage during Taylor Swift's (who?) speech, he snatched the mic out of her hand and went on this raid or rant about how beyonce ( sit down) should have won what ever award that the poor girl just won. Beyonce however is looking at him and shacking her head like wtf and apparently it wasn't even important award, to the other chick it was though. Kanye (or however you spell it) brotha pull the fucking stick already!

Next stage hopper, lil' momma (......) You know that hard faced chick who came out with that song lip gloss (.............) that was her ONLY hit which put her on on the map, and don't get me wrong, she can rap but she is tooooo hard faced, or maybe her stylist just didn't love her (idk) So this brawed (spelled wrong but it stays) decides that she wants to hop on stage when jayz (the house husband) and alicia keys are preforming something, so they finish and she hoppes up on stage to pose with them, so jay z hopps in front of her and tries to block her out but she still standing there with her hard face! That show was a hot mess, and im glad that I didn't watch but go to at least catch Janet preform.

Let us touch a little bit on princess ri-ri, honey, sit down already, you cant sing YOU CANT SING its like a drowning cat its like a dying giraffe! (yes they make noise) YOU ARE NOT A ICON, no honey you aren't! You have no style, you are all over the place, what you are doing orr trying to do is what the girlies in japan have been doing for YEARS and they get it right; you don't! Go some place and sit down and keep quiet, ok?? ooh ps: Take that tranny from a past life beyonce with you already (sweetie become a house wife and keep quiet too) That is all for that!

Back to our program (that was a commercial) What else is going on?? Oh near my apartment, they have been doing construction on the back steps and idk when they are going to be finished so there is a gate there, lordie I have to go all the way around to get anywhere and lordie there are corner jockeys everywhere at night so I have to walk fast lol (corner jockey; noun,folks who's sole job is to stand at the corner and do NOTHING) Its hard enough that I worked runaway slave hours the other day and I cant wait to see my check lol (16 1/2 hours! in one day)

Halloween is coming up soo happy! I requested that day off lol cause i cant wait to go out lol I so want to go on vacation again, because work after a while gets a little tight lol. Lord only knows when that's going to happen lol but whatever lol.

That is all for now....... :)

Btw: I burninnnnn (lol private joke lol)

PPS: Today sept 15th 2009 is gay fish day on south park!

Work, Chile you know we aint free!

Why does everything stress everyone out? Some times I wonder if we must in force a rule where we slap stupid people?!?! But lord then my hand would hurt like hell all the time lol. Work has been stressing me out kinda but not majorly because its to the point where stupid people at work are making everyone want to rip their hair out lol. So many of us have been there for so long we all want to just jump ship and leave. They are like oh why don't you all stay because i promise its going to get better and we all know, because its bs its total bs to everyone. Its like we all aren't kids we are all adults we know how the shit works. Its no going to be a great thing :(

Everyone doesn't want to stay there and the job is becoming like a prison because we cant do this, we cant do this and its like well wouldn't you want your employees to be kinda happy or at least happyish idk. Maybe that's asking too much.

Ive been thinking also, about how I'd rather be single FOR THE REST OF MY NATURAL LIFE than have to deal with another emotionally damaged person, this one girl I'm BARELY talking to has so much fucking issues its not healthy, i swear these folks are drawn to me! Idk how it happens, all I do is say hi like after they say hi to me and it all goes down hill from there! They get mad at me for not sharing my ENTIRE life story with them (which I'm not going to do if I'm not comfortable) right off the bat, and then tell me their whole life story and all their issues. (people tend to tell me their whole life story no matter what I'm doing) Its not like I don't believe in taking it slow because i don't want to rush in to anything lord knows Ive learned about that lol. You would expect someone who is young or very young minded to act so obsessed with someone, but damn it she is the same age as me, and i also know one who is 18 and she seems to have common sense! You see how all over the place that is lol.

Personal Effing-Space!

I know everyone, you are tired of fucking people all up in your personal space! So today i come home and go to the supermarket, even though its hot like balls outside, I still decide to go to the market to pick somethings up. So I get in line and this old freaking man decides he wants to stand right behind me,RIGHT BEHIND ME!!!!! Its not like he doesn't see my bight ass standing there!

I'm trying to put my stuff on the belt for the lady to ring up, and he decides that I must be in the way, so he puts his two freaking cans of beans on the thing in front of me and tries to push me out of the way so that he can get them before they go in front of this little old lady's bread. I'm like PERSONAL FUCKING SPACE! Then he has the fucking nerve to cough, COUGH WITH OUT COVERING HIS FUCKING MOUTH!

I don't understand how personal space has become a thing of the past or out of fashion. I mean if I don't know you, then shit back the fuck up!

I feel better lol that is all..............for now :)

Random-ness Come to me?!?!

So yeah, finally get the chance to babble on here! Where do I begin? Well if you didn't know I went to the wendy williams show! Soo much fun, people saw me on tv, (grandma, madre) other folks who knew. Got some free stuff in there, the ab rocket,which antiono sabato jr was selling. Haven't seen the infomercial with him in it yet. Also these things called hair bumps (I think) well they were free too. Me and keizer had so much fun, I saw it he was on camera a lot!! He's famous lol, it was just like a big dance party. Oh, did I mention we went on vacation? Oh loridie it was sooooooooooooo much fun, everything is free, only thing you have to do is pay for your drinks, which is like ok well I got to pay for something, but its not even expensive at all!

Duty free is the places to go when you want to get the liquor cheap! lol god willing when my bday comes around..I can get to go on one too. So great, it was nice to see the water on the boat just going out on the sea, it looked like you could just walk from one place to the other on the water. That would have been so great too. Ever seen drunk white folks? On the ship there are soooo many lol they get pissy drunk and want to sing country and what not, had one lady "sing" respect, lol she just kept screaming the song sooo we all know she could barely cary a tune, who lordie another girl "sang" killing me softly and oh god she butchered it. I swear if lauren hill wasn't crazy that would have drove her nuts. The folks who worked on the cruse however were soo nice (shout out to lima) she was so awesome, cause we had a zillion questions, now we know for next time lol.

Whooo, Nassau Bahamas is hot like you wouldn't believe its like freaking Africa hot, its like the sun is like haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa on you, all you do is sweat! You have to go out there damn near naked! But the water is soooooo beautiful, its so blue, and lordie the water in Miami is green just like new york lol. Miami is africa hot as well, and its humid so its like you don't get a break even when the sun goes down. Its so much fun in south beach because there are gay's o'plenty out side mostly men lol there is a sprinkle of women. The hotel we were in was a old apt building which i kinda fell in love with, it was a studio/"one" bedroom apt, which was huge, and it had two queen sized beds in it along with a wonderful dining room table in it as well as a huge freaking flat screen tv. It took us a while to figure out what the channels were, btw on the ship most of the channels are in Spanish?!?!!? and there really isn't anything majorly on tv. The pool on the freakin ship is 7 feet deep so its like you are up to yo neck and what not in the pool.

We visited the urban in south beach, whooo the standards in there are like .................................. hmmm lol notice the blank spot, very questionable lol Most stores in south beach open late by new york standards which is very odd. We went to the Mc Donald's wanted some sweet tea expected the mega huge cup like they give us here also because it was so freaking hot, but nooo, we got the regular size which was okish, but the sweet tea had mad ice lol.. Btw birds are everywhere lol I really had soo much fun, I cant wait to do it all again!

Did you manage to catch "bad habits" video, if not check that out! So freaking sexy, I swear if i knew Maxwell, I would hug him and be like um yeah! lol

Soo what else? So more random-mess, ex boyfriend saw me, I think that he thought we were Friends, wanted a hug i was like you high? lol Then a girl I was talking to a girl and didn't hear from her for a freaking month and some change and the other day my phone was like brrrrrring and shes like hey how are you? Im like hooo look who it is. I swear they come out the wood work. Oh we were on the train coming home yesterday and this guy gets on and starts ranting about the most random shit ever. We are like wtf?? who is he talking to like hes going on about someone doesn't respect him or something or doesn't like him cause he works for a living or something it was like...dinner and a show like we always get lol
I miss those lol.

That is all.............for now :)

Do not go gentle into that good night.

So as everyone... EVERYONE knows by now Michael Jackson has died... I know sad right, its like wow really its not like how everyone had made peace with Farrah dying because she was at the end of the road and she fought like hell! Like Dylan Thomas said: "Do not go gentle into that good night." Ive always loved that quote, fight like hell don't give up, and she never did. Michael however, was sick but he also kinda did it to him self, he had so many different meds he took all at one time and he just had so many different issues.. He had such a messed-up childhood, but its like he never at least I don't think spoke to anyone who could really help him enough to put them demons to bed. I think he carried all of that drama with him and after a while he may have just pushed that aside and figured if he were to act like a child again it would all go away. I do also believe that way in the back of his mind he did have a adult side as to where he thought being whit children was ok. Ive always thought that some where deep down inside he knew what he was doing, because lets not get it wrong, he was a smart man; he did make stupid decisions just like everyone else in life does, but I do think that he knew what he was doing with those kids. Maybe he thought what he was doing was ok, idk, im not sure I really don't know, maybe if i was studying psychology i could offer a better answer, but its just something i saw in the few times I've gotten to see just interviews and had a good look and what his body language was saying versus what he was saying out loud.

Some times people don't realize that their body language tells way more than what they are saying, so its like they are telling you one thing and their body language is telling you something different lol. Ive said this before when looking at photos of Chris brown and princess riri, their mess was always off!

June had just been the month of people dying, can you believe it it was freaking 6 people! I really believe that we are getting closer to the end only because just people keep leaving.

June was also the month were it kept raining! Its like lordie why? July has started and its been wonderful so far lol. I'm watching the memorial for Michael Jackson, and there are alot of people talking about mostly random stuff, and some people singing and its coming out kinda bad!

I'm also excited about vacation (yay poopoo) I'm gong to take sooo many photos lol, I promise to put them up all over the place lol, Its getting kinda close because we are leaving in like three weeks lol. I'm also a little excited about my "girlfriend" lol see, I got her sprung and I didn't even do anything to her... lol (yet) See she lives in Texas, which is like Africa hot lol, I mean I keep asking her about the weather and what not, even though she is like its hot lol. I try to make her understand that like in new york, its like a different kinda hot, because there are trees and a freaking breeze and it gets kinda humid, unlike down south where its soooooo hot. There isn't any like break in the heat, its like if you go outside you better bring your fat man rag (lol) a extra towel, a bottle of water, a fan, shades a whole mess of shit lol. I remember once I went to visit family (ugh) and i was watching the news and they were like there is a heat advisory out because a little girl fell and got third degree burns from the street, i was like see I'm one step closer to hell here! lol

Lordie there is mild drama at work, see there are two couples at work and everyone, i mean EVERYONE knows about them, lol jokes on them lol. And its like ok we know we don't care, but shit don't make it that obvious lol because its like yah we know but you don't want EVERY one to know lol. Its like to each is own, but don't put ur shit up in photos and come in on your days off, or wear the same shit, or wait around and lie to everyone cause its to the point where its getting sooooooooo sad. lol Its not like I'm saying no you cant date anyone, I'm not saying that at all I'm just saying be smart with your shit! Cause lord knows that place is HIGH SCHOOL LOL :p

That's all for now..........maybe :)